Why You Need to Embrace This Season of Life

It is very late — probably later at night than I've ever blogged before.  But this is the first time I've had a quiet moment for the past, oh, week or so, and I wanted to snatch the opportunity to put some of my thoughts down on (virtual) paper.

It's been a busy time in our family's life, and of course it comes just as I was seeming to find a good routine after our latest baby was added to the family.  (It always takes me forever to get my ducks in a row!)

My nice little routine was upturned and our family entered a season of busyness as we help my in-laws get their house ready to sell after having lived in it for years and years and years.  (It's a lot of work when you've lived in a house that long!)

You know that term “it's just a season of life”?  It's so true.  We all have seasons in our lives.  Sometimes the term refers to a very long period of time, such as the season of life when you have kids in “the nest” and the new season when they're grown and gone.  But sometimes a  season of life is just a short little stretch that is defined by a certain event, such as having a newborn in the house, canning and preserving season if you're the kind that grows a big garden, moving, a loved one who is ill and for whom you are caring until they are better, etc.

But no matter whether the season is short or very long, it seems like most of the time I hear the term being referenced, it is with an air of wistfulness for it to be over and on to the next season.  Well-meaning mothers who know their proper role and are making their families their priority will say “I'm in that season where I need to focus on my family.  When my kids are grown and gone I will have time to pursue my dream of…” (writing, art, etc.  — you fill in the blank.)  That is true and noble.

When you're in a short season of busyness as with a move or other transitional period, you might say, “Well this is just a season, but I can't wait until this is over with.”  I actually made a similar statement regarding the situation our family is in right now.  I wasn't complaining; just stressed and tired and looking forward to being “unstressed” and “untired”.

But while remembering that life comes in seasons is good, and entering those seasons without complaint is even better, why should we wish those seasons away?  Why can't we embrace whatever season it is in which we find ourselves, knowing that God has brought those particular circumstances into our lives for His divine purposes?

In seasons of busyness, tiredness, and stress, he reminds us to depend fully on Him.  (Isn't that great that those seasons follow times of peace and calm when it's so tempting to think we've got it all together and forget to depend on Him?)

I for one am going to not just accept the fact that this is a season and look forward to the next season that is more enjoyable; I am going to embrace right where God has put me today!  I'm going to soak up every lesson that is there for the learning.  I'm going to depend on Him to give me strength when I'm tired.  And I'm going to thank Him that He knows exactly what is best for me!

I hope I've encouraged you today to do the same, no matter what season it is in which you find yourself right now!

P.S.  Can I let you in on a little secret?  That “next season” that you're looking forward to so much?  It doesn't usually turn out exactly as you'd envisioned anyway.  I'm not saying your entire life will be one of living from miserable experience to miserable experience; I'm just saying life will pan out differently than what you have planned for yourself.  But that's because the Master Designer has a much better plan!  Will you embrace each aspect of it as it comes your way?

What I’m Learning About Training Children from an Olive Tree

I cannot tell you how frustrated I get sometimes as I try to train my children and teach them to love and obey God.

Sometimes they do the same dumb things over and over and over.

I find myself crying out to God “Why don't they get it???!”

Our pastor was preaching Sunday morning from Psalm 128 where God paints a portrait of his design for the family.

I went home with tons of food for thought, but this section right here especially encouraged me:

Psalm 128:3 Thy wife shall be as a fruitful vine by the sides of thine house: thy children like olive plants round about thy table.

Pastor went on to explain a little of his research on olive plants and why God would have given that description of children in the home.  I have also done a little poking around since then, and it is very obvious that God used that description for a reason!  The idea of children being like olive plants is absolutely loaded!

This little study of olive plants has been a huge blessing to me as a mother, and I want to share my thoughts here in hopes it will be a blessing to you as well!

The first thing I learned is that before an olive tree is ever planted it can take up to 12 months just to prepare the soil.

Olive tree lesson #1: I cannot train my children to love and obey the Lord if I have not prepared myself first.

I need to be spending time in God's Word and prayer.  I need his wisdom.  I need to have a thorough knowledge of the scripture so that I will always be ready with the right Scriptures to apply in the situations in which my children find themselves.

Once planted, the olive tree has to be protected from small animals that could damage it.  The weeds also need to be kept under control so that they do not steal the nutrition that the tree needs to thrive.

Olive tree lesson #2: I must guard my children from outside influences that can harm them spiritually.   My children's spiritual welfare is more important than offending someone who may not be the best influence.  Their wishes about what they want to watch or listen to don't really matter.  It is my job to protect them spiritually.  (See also: Protecting Your Child From the Devil.)

One olive gardening site had a set of FAQ's where the first question was “How much work is involved?”  The answer was simply “Plenty!”  It is normal for an olive gardener with just a small grove to put in at least 60 hours a week tending to his trees.

Olive tree lesson #3: If I want my children to become mature, fruit-bearing adults, I must give them time.  And lots of it.

I cannot expect my children to turn out right if I do not put in the work.  And all my efforts to train them in the principles of God's Word are not going to sink in if they do not first know how much I love them.  And they will not know how much I love them until I prove it by how much of my time and attention I devote to them.

A very simple concept regarding olive trees is that they will die without sufficient water.

Olive tree lesson #4: My children need the water of the Word daily. 

I can tell them “do this”, “do that”, “don't do this” and “don't do that” all I want, but my own words are not good enough.  They need the power of the Word of God, which is sharper than any two-edged sword.  If I teach my children to do or not do certain things because *I* say so, they don't have a good enough reason to do right.  They need to do right because God says so.  I must constantly point them to the Word of God through daily Bible reading, memorization, and application of God's Word in every situation.

When it comes to sun, olive trees thrive in full sun.

Olive tree lesson #5: If I want my children to thrive, they must constantly have the light of Christ shining on them through me.

If I want my children to learn to love Christ, they need to be able to see his loveliness through my example.  If their mother, who claims to love God, is always yelling and saying ugly words, why would they want to have anything to do with Him?  (See also: The Law of Kindness.)

When it comes to the question of “Will my kids ever get it?  Will they ever put into practice the things I've been teaching them?” I have been encouraged tremendously to become aware of the fact that the peak  fruit production years for an olive tree are between 30 and 70 years of age.  When carefully tended, they can bear fruit at around 5-10 years, but not nearly the amount of fruit as when they are in their peak years.

Likewise, I cannot expect my children to be producing the fruit of spiritual maturity while they are still children!  There will be moments when I can see some of the results of my labor, but the bulk of the fruit will come when they are grown.

Olive Tree Lesson #6: Maturity can't be rushed.

When my kids act like children, I need to remember that it's because they are!  I can't let myself get discouraged at the seemingly slow progress!

Additionally, maturity will not happen if consistent care and tending is not given to the olive plant.

What if the olive gardener decided that his young trees were just not bearing fruit quickly enough for his liking and decided to stop tending to them or only cared for them half-heartedly. That would be foolish.  He would eventually end up with a grove of full-grown olive trees, but it would be a fruitless mess.

Olive tree lesson #7: Children who grow up to bear fruit for the Lord must receive consistent care and tending.

I as a parent cannot give half-hearted attention to my little seedlings or I'm going to end up with children that grow up to be a fruitless mess.

Perhaps this is one reason why children of seemingly good, Godly people go astray.  Out of weariness or frustration, the parents assume that their efforts are futile and allow their child to choose their own path instead of continuing to help influence the direction that child faces.

An olive gardener has to start from the very beginning of a seedling's life to train the tree into the shape he desires.  Allowing the tree to grow into whatever shape it may will make it very difficult for the gardener to harvest any fruit that does grow.

The olive gardener has to prune the tree to shape it into the form that will be its structure for life.

Olive tree lesson #8: The shape of my children's entire lives is being determined right now by me as the parent.  It is up to me to point them in the right direction.

Extensive pruning, however, can actually do more harm than good to a young olive tree.   One olive gardening manual warns that “A determination to form the perfect shape by excessive pruning will weaken the young tree and stunt its growth for a number of years.”  For this reason, olive growers do not do much pruning at all for the first 4 or 5 years of a tree's life.  The only shoots that should be eliminated are those that compromise the definitive shape of the plant.

Olive tree lesson #9: Nitpicking at my children is only going to discourage them and make them feel like it's pointless to even try.  The only thing I should be removing from my children's lives are those things that are actually going to point them in the wrong direction.

Do you discipline harshly for childish things like forgetting to put clothes in the hamper or make their bed?  Yes, they need to do those things out of obedience, but sometimes children genuinely forget these things and aren't being purposely rebellious.  Gentle reminders will do more good than giving them the 3rd degree for every minor offense.

Although very minimal pruning should be done in the early years of an olive tree, it is important, however, for shoots competing with the main stem to be eliminated to promote its growth.

Olive tree lesson #10: The removal of life-draining activities from my children's lives is good for them and will promote spiritual growth.

How much time do your children spend watching TV, playing pointless video games, or talking to ungodly friends?  These things are stealing valuable spiritual nutrients from your children and need to be removed if you want them to be strong and healthy spiritually.

Once an olive tree reaches its peak fruit-bearing years, it will bear an incredible amount of fruit each year as long as it continues to be properly watered and pruned.

Olive tree lesson #11: Faithful parenting will bring great joy when my children are grown.

How wonderful it will be to see my adult children producing fruit for the Lord!  Yes, these little years require lots of time, patience, and plain hard work, but the results will be so worth it!

Olive trees can live up to 200 years.  After the trunk disappears, a new shoot begins to grow again, thus continually renewing itself generation after generation.

Olive tree lesson #12: Godly parenting can have results that will last to the end of time.

On the flip side, if I fail to train my children properly and they do not grow up to produce spiritual fruit, I wonder how many generations after me will be negatively impacted?

Friends, this parenting thing is hard work.  But we are not alone.  God has given us his timeless word to know how to care for these little ones.  We must seek his wisdom and faithfully carry out the task he has given us.

I hope you were blessed by this post!  Would you take a minute to leave me a comment or share this with other moms you know?

Dear Moms Everywhere

Dear Mom on the iPhone: I have no idea why you're on your iPhone.  Let's just remember that our children see our love by the attention we give to them.  But they also need to know that the world doesn't revolve around them.  It's okay to let your kids play by themselves sometimes.  Just use your phone wisely.

Dear Mom Not on her iPhone: I'm glad you're giving your kids your undivided attention.  I really am.  But please don't think less of the moms who use their phones at the playground.  It's not our job to make sure everyone else is a perfect parent; we only need to worry about ourselves.

Dear Mom Who Breastfeeds Her Babies: It's a wonderful thing with so many benefits.  Perhaps it was easy; perhaps you had to overcome some obstacles.  Either way, I'm glad it's working out for you.

Dear Mom Who Doesn't Breastfeed: Maybe you were not able to breastfeed, or maybe you simply chose not to.  That's really up to you.  I know no one loves your kids more than you and that you're making the decisions you feel are the best fit for your family.

Dear Mom Who Feeds Her Kids Organic Food: I'm so glad you're caring for your children the best you possibly can!

Dear Mom Who Doesn't Feed Her Kids Organic Food: I'm so glad you're caring for your children the best you possibly can too!

Dear Mom Who Had a Natural Birth: Great job!  It's hard work!

Dear Mom Who Didn't Birth Naturally: Great job!  It's still hard work!

Dear Mom Who Adopted: Awesome job!  I've heard it's really hard work!

Dear Moms Everywhere

We're all so different.  Our circumstances and philosophies are as varied as the spectrum of colors.  But one thing we all have in common.

We will all fail at this motherhood thing without help and wisdom from above.

So whether you're rich, poor, crunchy, modern, supermom or tired mom, I can tell you one thing you need to be doing every day.

You need to be down on your knees, begging God to give you wisdom as you train these little souls.  You need to be searching His word for His advice.  Then follow it and don't worry about what anyone else has to say.

These little lives are too important for you to be pressured by your peers or even by some blogger you don't even know to parent your children a certain way.  You only have one person to Whom you answer, and that is God.  Have you thought much about what He thinks?

Perhaps you spend hours scouring the internet to help you make the best decision regarding vaccinations, co-sleeping, or babywearing.  Perhaps you follow lots of bloggers who will tell you how to stop a tantrum in its tracks, how to stop yelling at your kids, or how to get your children to stop stalling at bedtime.

How many of those hours have you spent on your knees?  

^^Click to tweet that!^^

We're talking about eternal souls here.  Eternal souls for which we are responsible!  What an incredible task!

Your pastor spends hours each week preparing to preach his messages.  An evangelist would be foolish to go out evangelizing without adequate preparation.  A missionary spends months and even years learning a new language and culture so that he can effectively win the lost to Christ.

But how much preparation do you as a mother put into the days you spend with these little souls?

Dear Moms Everywhere,

You are entrusted with a monumental task.  To fulfill it well,  you must daily seek wisdom and strength from the One who has entrusted you with that task.  There will be many challenges and obstacles to overcome.  But no sacrifice will be too great to make on behalf of the precious souls that are in your care.  If you are going to err, may it be on the side of thinking more about the eternal and less about the trivial.

God bless you on your journey!

How to Pray for Missionaries (With Free Printable)

A couple years ago I posted about how we keep all our missionary prayer cards in a photo album.  We can flip through it and pray for a different missionary at each meal.

I hope you have some sort of system in place that you use to pray for missionaries as well.  And I hope that your prayer is more than just “God bless the missionaries.”  They have specific needs, and it is our responsibility to intercede for them as they face the obstacles that the adversary sets before them.

It is easier than it ever has been to pray for the specific needs of each missionary that we know.  Most of them send out updates by email, and you can get their most up-to-date prayer requests right in your inbox.  I try to pray for specific requests that come through immediately as I read them.  Later we add those requests to our family prayer time as well.

A couple months ago, we had a missionary in our church (Brenson Jennings, missionary to Niger) who preached a message on How to Pray for Missionaries.  He gave some general ways that we should be praying for our missionaries on a regular basis.  I am not sure I got 100% of the outline down as I was trying to hurriedly scratch it on the back of a receipt, but here is the gist of what he said: (posted with his permission)

1. Pray for their Deliverance

• from Wicked Men – there are many who oppose the work of the Lord and will do everything they can to hinder it
• from Wasted Time – they need wisdom to use every minute wisely
• from Weary Bodies – one of Satan's weapons against those doing God's work is to attack with illness
• from Worldly Attitudes – they need to remember that all things work together for good — even when it doesn't seem like that is happening at the moment
• from Wrong Choices – they need discernment to use their resources wisely, to know who to trust in a strange country, etc.

2. Pray for Acceptance

• of the Message – that people would respond to the gospel
• of the Motive – they need people to understand that they've come because God loves them

3. Pray for Encouragement

• In times of Stress – sometimes it seems they are all alone as they face trials
• In times of Sickness – we all have a tendency to feel discouraged when we're not feeling well
• In times of Sowing – it's discouraging when it seems no one is listening or responding to your message
• In times of Separation – being far away from friends and family is hard

There were so many specific examples that this particular missionary gave which illustrated each of these points.  I'm sure that you can just imagine the missionaries you know and why they would need you to pray these things for them and how they would apply in their particular situation.

I wanted to remember these things, so I created a simple 4×6 printable that can go into the front of our missionary album.  If you'd like to print it, you can do so by clicking on the photo above or the link below.

How to Pray for Missionaries PDF

The Devil Loves Good Clean Fun

I don't know about you, but I like to observe people.

I quietly watch and try to figure out what makes a person tick.

Now don't even try to pretend you aren't tempted to look condescendingly at someone when they do something that you and your pious self would never think of doing.  We all are.

When that temptation arises, I try to turn that around into something good.  I try to use it as a learning experience and ask myself “Am I doing the same thing without realizing it?  How can I turn the focus off of judging someone else's character and onto my own need for growing to be more like Christ?”

As I've observed people both in person and on social media talking and/or posting about the movies they watch, the video games they play, or the hobbies in which they participate, I often find myself cringing.  I think to myself, “Why?!  Oh, please, no!  Why as one who claims the name of Christ would you allow that worldliness to infiltrate your thoughts and actions?!”

And once again, although I am grieved about the worldliness I see in the lives of some of my brothers and sisters in Christ, I have to turn the focus to myself.  And I've honestly been able to say that by God's grace, I have kept myself from those things.  I have not allowed the garbage of worldly movies and music into my mind.  I have tried to act in a way that would be pleasing to the Lord.

But as I examined myself, the Holy Spirit spoke to my heart about something of which Christians with the cleanest of testimonies can find themselves guilty.   I realized that I am guilty of this very thing.

And the devil loves it.

What is this thing of which I speak?  The devil loves our good clean fun.

What?!  You don't believe Christians ought to do anything enjoyable?  What about “A merry heart doeth good like a medicine”?  What about the places in the Bible that tell us that we need to get away and rest sometimes?

Of course I believe Christians can and should have fun.  Of course we need to rest and be refreshed sometimes.

But how much fun do we really need?  When the lasts bits of sand in the hourglass of time are quickly draining, and a lost world will be doomed to eternal destruction, how much fun do we need to have?

Eternity is upon us!  And we are proud of ourselves because we spent our Friday night watching a movie that didn't have any curse words or immodest dress in it.  And maybe Monday night was spent playing an innocent board game and eating popcorn while we could have been outside getting to know our unsaved neighbors.  On Tuesday afternoon we attended a scrapbooking get-together where the only thing we talked about was…well…scrapbooking. We didn't necessarily edify one another, but we were participating in a good, clean activity!  Thursday evening was spent at a barbeque with friends where the men talked about sports and the weather and the ladies showed off the cute shoes they found on clearance.  But we didn't say anything displeasing to the Lord, did we, so we think we are in great shape.

We live in a culture where entertainment is readily available.  And I believe we have become addicted to it.

When the kids are in bed for the night and we're ready to relax, where do we run?  To Facebook, Netflix, ESPN?  Pinterest, Xbox, Youtube?

Maybe we're being ultra-careful to make sure the only content coming into our living room is G-rated.  But where is our Bible?!  We really can't find time to spend getting to know the Lord and memorizing his Word?  Our Christian lives are so shallow because the devil has distracted us with good clean fun!

The countdown to eternity is quickly coming to a close.

And all the while, the devil laughs because while we feel like we're being good little Christians, he doesn't even have to try to convince people to believe his lies.  They never hear the truth in the first place because we're too busy having fun!

How much time have you wasted enjoying good clean fun?  I'm sorry, friend, but if you're neglecting your God-given commands to preach the gospel to every creature (Mark 16:15), to disciple believers (Mt. 28:20),  to exhort one another and so much the more as ye see the day approaching (Hebrews 10:25), and to occupy until He comes (Luke 19:13) then the only word for your good clean fun is sin.

Therefore to him that knoweth to do good, and doeth it not, to him it is sin.  James 4:17

Let's open our eyes to the reality of eternity.  If the trumpet were to blow and we were to be caught up in the clouds with Christ at this moment, let's not find ourselves ashamed.  Let's find ourselves ready and watching.

What’s This Blog All About, Anyway?

I am a woman.  I am a homemaker.

I like girly things and homey things and crafts and recipes and things for my kids.

I like to blog about those things because I know many of you like those things too.

But those things do not completely define me.  In fact, my life would be meaningless without one vital element.

Jesus Christ.

He is everything to me, and without him everything else I do would be worthless.

As Peter and John said in the book of Acts, I “cannot but speak the things which [I] have seen and heard”. I've seen his provision for and protection of my family. I've experienced his comfort and peace in the midst of trials.  I've been given wisdom when I didn't know the right answers.  And most of all I've been given the privilege to have fellowship with the creator of the universe and have the assurance of spending eternity in heaven with him.

How can I keep all that to myself when it is freely offered to all?!

So while the homemaking tips, recipes, and crafts will continue, the overarching reason for it all is to point people to Jesus Christ.  If you don't know him, you can!  The creator of the universe wants to have a personal relationship with you!  Read How to Get to Heaven here.  If you already know the Lord Jesus as your Savior, it is my desire to point you to him through everything that I say.  My goal is to encourage you to be the best homemaker you can – not so that you can feel awesome – but so that you can bring glory to the only One who matters.