What I Didn’t Know as a First Time Mom
This post brought to you by HUGGIES. All opinions are 100% mine.
When this new little one arrives, she'll round out the number of our children to an even four.
I remember how different things were when I had my first. I had read all the books and listened to all the advice, and I thought I had this thing all figured out. Now I look back at my first-time mom self and laugh. There were so many things I didn't know.
- I didn't know that I'd feel like I had been run over by a truck for the first six weeks.
- I didn't know how badly my back would hurt when I tried to bend over the bed to change diapers. (We didn't own a changing table. The know-it-all baby books said it wasn't really necessary.) It took me a while to figure out that getting down on the floor was actually easier.
- I also didn't know that changing said diapers on bed would immediately trigger an irresistable urge in that sweet little baby boy to wash my sheets for me.
- I didn't know that in my sleep-deprived state I would be too tired to care about why the sheets were wet and that I'd sleep on them anyway…with a towel on top of course.
- I didn't know that it would be okay to go to a friend's house when I was invited…even if it was past the baby's bedtime or naptime. I just didn't know that newborns can adapt wherever you take them. I didn't know how badly I would regret turning down the invitation to relax with friends.
- I didn't realize how quickly the newborn phase would pass, how quickly he would grow.
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No matter how tiring or uncomfortable all of those “new mommy moments” have been, I can look back and say emphatically, “They were all worth it!!!”
Accepting Grace In This Season
The following is a post from one of Imperfect Homemaker's contributors, Andrea.
“To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven…”
Ecclesiastes 3:1
On October 4, 2012 I went to the doctor to confirm my third pregnancy. Little did I know that when I left the office that day, I would enter a new season of life. You see, the doctor informed me that I was not only expecting our third child, but also our fourth…I was having twins! With this news came the realization that we needed to find a new apartment so that I wouldn’t be climbing three flights of stairs, my husband needed a new job making more money, and we needed a new vehicle that could hold four car seats. Life with four children ages three and under was definitely a season of life that I didn’t anticipate ever walking through!
Our twins, Liberty & Nehemiah, were born in April. During my pregnancy and the last six weeks the Lord has taught me several lessons about the seasons of life. Perhaps you are embarking on a new season of life as well. I want to let you know that God has enough grace for this new time, and to encourage you to give yourself grace as well
Be Flexible.
As a “type A” person, I really like to know what is coming. I like to be able to plan, and to be prepared. But I have learned am still learning that things will not always stay the same; they will not always be predictable. When an unexpected situation or life change happens, we can expect and accept the grace of God. He has promised that we can come boldly to His throne and beg that grace, even when things seem to be in upheaval.
Re-align Priorities.
The revelation that I was having twins forced me to re-align my priorities. I had to be more careful in my pregnancy, and get more rest than I was used to allowing myself. This meant fewer outings and activities, and saying “no” to some things that I really wanted to do or be involved in. Now that my babies are here, I am trying to focus on my children each day and not the messes developing in my house. I like everything to be clean, organized, and put away. That doesn’t always happen anymore! Last week I mopped my bathroom floor for the first time in {gasp!} over two months!I have to realize that this season won’t last forever. My children will only be little once. “Tomorrow” I will wake up and realize that they have grown up too fast. I know I will regret it to look back one day and know that I missed their childhood but I always had a spotless house.
Accept Help.
This has been a hard one for me! Maybe it’s a little bit of being a woman, a little bit of that “type A” personality, and surely a lot of pride that makes me think I can do it all, all by myself. During my pregnancy I couldn’t bend over the sink to wash my dishes. I felt terrible having my husband come home from a long day of work and wash all the dishes for me, but I had to learn to accept his help (which was lovingly offered) .I am blessed to have a teen from our church as a mother’s helper one day a week for the summer. It is very humbling to have someone else dust your house and mop your floors. But as I graciously accept the help offered, I have found freedom from my “do it all” mentality.The body of Christ also comes into play here. My sisters in the Lord have been more than helpful to me during this season. There is always an unexpected meal, offers for child care, and even two ladies who are washing all of my laundry for me. It has been a blessing to know that I am not in this alone, and also challenging to me to be more sensitive and helpful to others during times of need.
Give Yourself Grace.
If God is willing to give us His all-sufficient grace for every season that we encounter, shouldn’t we be willing to give ourselves a little bit of grace too? In the past I have been an avid couponer. I have rarely had paper towels, paper plates, or other disposable items in my house. I have made my own laundry detergent and sewed many of my children’s clothes. I cloth diapered my first two children.But now, in a new season, with new challenges, I am learning to give myself grace. I haven’t used a coupon in a while, and I even ordered my groceries online and paid to have them delivered! We use paper plates for lunch a lot, to save me an extra load of dishes. I bought laundry detergent at the store yesterday. And underneath the bunk beds is a huge stash of disposable diapers for my three kiddos who need them. I don’t clean my floor daily, and I only scrub the toilet when I know someone is coming over (or it gets really bad). But it’s okay. It won’t be this way forever. If we have another child, I would love to cloth diaper again. When my babies are bigger I may return to cloth napkins and homemade detergent. For now, I am giving myself grace.
I hope this has been an encouragement to you, no matter what season of life you are in. Maybe you are in a position to be a helper to someone else in a difficult season of their life. Maybe you need to give yourself a little grace for right now. I would love for you to leave a comment and share your season with us!
Coming Monday Morning!
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How to Keep a Baby Perfectly Quiet During School Hours
Okay, so I wasn't purposely letting him do this, but it sure kept him occupied for a long time! It worked a whole lot better than all the fancy independent activities for one year olds I've posted in the past!